mission control

Flaps down

Go for landing

Lingual tether deployed

Lingual lock confirmed

Pheromone handshake 100%

Pre-coital fluid evacuation commencing

Clitoral-nose handshake commencing

Telemetry confirms handshake

Secondary digital anal probe deployed

Lingual anal penetration commencing

Pre-coital fluid evacuation reestablished

Backup digital anal probe commencing

Clitoral-nose handshake reestablished

5

4

3

2

1

And we have liftoff

Preliminary telemetry overload

Houston, we have a problem

Uncontrollable vehicle shaking

Auditory telemetry overload

Vehicle has crashed

Unresponsive

Unresponsive

Unresponsive

Telemetry handshake resuming

Vehicle has achieved unstable orbit